Complaint to Torus

Section 1

part 2a

written in 2022

Four years on, and the issue with torus refusing to deal with, speak to, and/or send all correspondence to my mum, rather than me, is still on going.

People from torus still phone me, still send me post, and still insist that they have to deal with me because I am the tenant.

In 2018, some of my suicidal thoughts, the ones that didn’t feel like my thoughts, the ones I would eventually act on, caused me problems dealing with things, answering my phone, and opening my post, emails, texts, etc. These thoughts would tell me that I didn’t have to open my post, I could open my throat instead. These thoughts would tell me that I didn’t have to deal with something, I could set myself on fire or walk in front of a bus or lorry instead.

These suicidal thoughts that don’t feel like mine are now fully back, and getting more frequent and intense.

So, just in case you are still struggling to understand my request that you deal with, speak to, and send all correspondence to my mum rather than me, and why, I will put it in writing again here, explain why I am requesting it, and why following my request is so important.

Please deal with my mother, Gillian Heffey, on my behalf.

Please send all written correspondence to my mother rather than me, at 16 Mollington Avenue, L11 3BG.

Please speak to my mother rather than me, her phone number is 0151 226 8593.

I am requesting this as I am severely disabled by mental illness. I have borderline personality disorder, adjustment disorder, and non epileptic attack disorder.

Right now, this means-
– Some days I can’t answer my phone, open my post, etc, and/or deal with anything.
-Some days just the though of doing any of these things is enough to exacerbate my depression, stress, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, panic attacks, etc.
-I have episodes of dissociation, which include not remembering what happened during the episode. This means that if I am already having one of these episodes when you call me or I receive a letter from you, or speaking to you or reading your letter causes me to have one of these episodes, I am not going to remember what was said.
-I have communication issues due to my disabilities. I am likely to have emotional and mental break downs, melt downs, and outburst when dealing with anything while I feel unwell or which makes me feel unwell. THIS MEANS THAT I SHOUT.  I shout if I am angry, stressed, upset, anxious, depressed, etc, it is not a sign of aggression, it is a symptom of my illness. I MAY SEEM HOSTILE. Again, this is not a sign of aggression. It is a symptom of my illness. These symptoms are not things I am in control of. I am disabled. These symptoms are part of my disability. They are part of the reason that I am classed as disabled. I did not choose my symptoms. I did not choose my disability. Experiencing these symptoms can worsen my illness and symptoms, as I don’t like being this way. So does other peoples reactions to these symptoms. A SINGLE BAD INTERACTION WITH ONE PERSON CAN LEAVE ME FEELING SUICIDAL FOR LONG PERIODS OF TIME AND HAS CONTRIBUTED TO ME ATTEMPTING SUICIDE IN THE PAST.
-I get confused easily and will mix up words, things, people, etc, while I am talking to people. I will be thinking of one word, thing, person, and say another, particularly if I am having similar problems with two different people, example, sometimes when talking about the noise next door I will say upstairs, because I am having noise related antisocial behaviour issues with both the people next door and the people upstairs. This can make conversations very confusing, especially when I don’t realise I am mixing up what I am saying, or if the connection to the two things I am mixing up only exists in my mind, for example I might say washing when I am referring to clothing because once you have worn them they then become washing, but I am referring to them when they are clean.

Writing this complaint has already taken me months. It will probably take me even longer to complete. Having to write this letter has and is greatly exacerbating my stress, anxiety, depression, seizures, suicidal thoughts, hallucinations, etc.

I have to write everything, re read it, and redraft it a million times before its even slightly understandable and followable. The fact is that I am too sick because of my current living conditions to even be writing this complaint, but those living conditions are going to kill me and so I have to write this letter and risk that doing so might kill me, because the alternative is either waiting for the conditions in my flat to kill me, or killing myself to end the suffering that my living conditions are causing.

Writing this is draining what energy I need to even just make it through the day. Writing this leaves me mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted.

So please, do as I have requested, and deal with, write to, and speak to, my mum rather than me. I am classed as severely disabled for very good and serious reasons. You refusing to acknowledge those reasons or even that I am disabled in the first place is disability discrimination.

And listen, if you don’t like dealing with anyone other than the tenant, you can deal with me- once you move me so I can recover from what I have been going through, get well enough for therapies, and have gone through therapy to the point that I am managing my disability again- but until then you need to deal with the consequences of your actions, which is that you have not put me in disability suitable accommodation and that has caused me to become extremely and dangerously unwell to the point where I am unable to deal with anything myself, which means you now have to deal with somebody on my behalf.